Dear Kate Moss, I Object!

To quote Ol'Blue Eyes, "when I was seventeen, it was a very good year." 

Junior Prom happened, I wore cheetah print to senior homecoming, and my dreams were bigger than my hair. The year was 2009, and looking back at CNN's timeline of those twelve months, a lot of serious stuff occurred. Sully landed in The Hudson, Obama became the 44th President of the United States, Madoff got life in prison, and Michael Jackson died. While I agree with CNN, and most of the human population, that these were all worthy of remembrance, there is one event that seems to have slipped the minds of historians. 

The when: 11/13/2009

The where: WWD (Women's Wear Daily)

The who: Brid Costello's interview with Kate Moss

The why: promotion for her new fragrance, Vintage

The what: Moss's statement that her motto is, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," aka the quote heard round the world. 

Fast forward three years to 2012. I'm away at college procrastinating writing my textile science lab by scrolling through Facebook. The fitness obsessive amazon-like girl who lived across the hall from me had posted Moss's motto onto her Facebook page for inspiration. A serious fashion junkie in the making, I had not yet comprehended the importance of twitter, The Business of Fashion and current events in general, so Moss's words were hitting me for the first time. Looking to my left at the half-eaten bag of Sour Patch Watermelon's I instantly felt sad. Not for me and my sugar riddled insides, but sadness that there were humans who didn't partake in the pleasures a slice of cake brings. What is a life without chocolate? Not one I would want to be a part of.

Over the years, I never forgot Moss's quote, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." The words played in my head on a jumbotron telling me to eat the extra cookie, because if Kate didn't want it, I'd eat it for her. It became humorous to me. She's the world's most famous supermodel, of course she would say something like that. After all, her extremely waif like body became the "it body" to have in the 90s. She had to maintain her image somehow. 

Recently, with the rise of Athleisure, 5AM cycling classes, and juice detoxes, I thought I would give Kate's motto a run for its money. When the founder of conscious uncoupling, Gwyneth Paltrow, admitted that an occasional bag of Doritos and a beer won't kill you, I thought, maybe the key is balance. Or, is saying no to every little pleasure in life worth it to be skinny? I investigated. 

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First up, the green juice. Never before writing this post have my lips allowed liquefied vegetables to enter my being and proceed down my esophagus. Needless to say, I was nervous. Ordering the Mean Green (apple, kale, cucumber, celery, ginger and lime) from my local fresh & organic juice provider, I stepped out into the sun and braced myself. Up through the straw, into my mouth and down my throat without gagging, I was ecstatic. Casually sipping my trendy beverage, I waited for the moment its disgustingness would truly hit me. That moment never came. Was it because the drink made me feel so cool that I accepted consuming foods through a straw that I normally need teeth to eat? With each swallow, I could already feel my skin glowing brighter, my hair shinier, and my insides absorbing the nutrients they so often lack. The experts said all this and more would come from drinking green juice. So I was doing this for my own good. Medicine tastes awful, but it makes you healthy. I figured the same could be said for green juice. And who cares what it tastes like if it'll make me as attractive as Kate Moss?

In a shocking turn of events, pumping my body full of a solution that looks like churned up grass, isn't worth the benefits. About halfway through my juice I decided things can taste as good as skinny feels when it's in moderation. With the knowledge that I had gone to the gym that morning, I said "so long," to my juice and "hello lover," to a beautifully frosted cupcake. Made with natural and local ingredients, my cupcake wasn't necessarily a pothole on the road to obesity, but a brief detour en route to my destination. That destination being a full metamorphosis into Jane Fonda.

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So while experts claim that sugar leads to death and will eventually kill me, I promise not to overindulge on a sugar suicide mission. Life is best lived in balance. Equal parts work and play, sun and shade, and vegetables and sugar. And lastly, in closing of my investigation, I have one thing left to say. 

Dear Kate Moss,

While you will never go out of style, your motto that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," is so 2009. It's all about a mix now Kate. A Zara sweater and Manolo's go together just as much as a Twix in one hand and a celery stick in the other. "Moderation and balance," let that be your new motto.

Best, Emily 


Additional information on green juicing:

Should You Drink Green Juice, Time

Juice from Jaco Juice & Taco Bar

Cupcake from Dia Doce