If Valentino Were My Father

Imagination is a beautiful thing, I mean, there was even an entire SpongeBob episode about it. Those times you only have the equivalent of four cups of watered down coffee in your bank account, imagination is your ticket to traveling the world. Close your eyes and jet off to Greece or Bali or Egypt, no passport required. As an only child, my imagination was often my best playmate. I pretended I was the evil queen of a magical kingdom or I would stage grand weddings with my Barbie's, only to have them divorce due to a rather juicy scandal. 

In grade school, my friends and I would fantasize about being members of our favorite TV families. How cool it would be to be a Cohen (The O.C.), a Matthews (Boy Meets World) or a Tanner (Full House)! Personally, I also wondered what life would be like to have Victoria Beckham or the Queen of England as my mother. Picturing life with a mother who had access to "that little Gucci dress" would send my head spinning. And if the Queen was my mother...to be a royal, I'd have a diamond tiara for every day of the week. 

Recently, I've been thinking about who my fantasy parents would be now that The O.C and Boy Meets World have long left the weekly TV lineup. While my mother would be an obvious choice between Barbra Streisand or Anna Wintour, the role of my father was a bit more difficult to fill. Until it occurred to me, what if Valentino were my father? 

If Valentino, the legendary Italian fashion designer/professional liver of the high life, were my father, life would be quite different. How so, you ask? Allow me to specify. 

Whichever department of Maison Valentino dad wanted me to work in, I'd be there. Each day I'd report for work in a Valentino red pantsuit (with slim fit tapered pants of course) and make dad proud as he'd groom me to eventually takeover the family business. What a life it would be Monday through Friday in the guipure-laced trenches. 

Saturdays and Sundays would strictly be for absorption of foreign cultures. Sashaying my way onto father's fourteen seat Challenger jet, I'd curl up with the family's six pugs and a steaming hot espresso. Mid-flight, I'd step to the back of the plane and have a quick catch-up phone chat with Maria Grazia Chiuri. I would need advice on the guy I was seeing (but only mildly interested in) and her advice would be to dump him, naturally.

Ultimately, the highlight of my year would be escorting Pa to the Met Gala held annually on the first Monday in May. While in NYC, we (me, dad, the pugs and the senior Valentino team) would stay at Uncle Giancarlo's penthouse apartment. Looking out over all of NYC, I would step into thisthis, or this (all from the archives). Dad would let me borrow anything for special occasions, he's cool like that.  


Family photo

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Arriving at the Met Gala, I'd catch up with all of dad's closest friends. Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista (she'd be my godmother), Claire Danes, and Anne Hathaway just to name a few. Throughout the night, I would encourage mon père to upload selfies to his 846k Instagram followers. "Have a little fun dad, you're retired. Time to let loose!," I would tell him. Waking up the next morning he would see that Naomi humorously regrammed a selfie of her and dad just a pinch tipsy. This would lead to me having to fly home coach and a four-month banishment from the archives.


Even with the absurd punishment for the tipsy selfie regram, life as Emily Garavani feels like it wouldn't be half bad. But alas, the above fantasy is just that, a fantasy. I'm sure there is a very good reason why I wasn't born into a life of fashion royalty and for now, I accept that. For starters, pugs are adorably round little creatures, but cats just seem to get me on a deeper level. Secondly, it'd be terrible to have to..ummm...yeah...that's pretty much the only reason I can think of for not wanting to live in a permanent state of luxury.  

Just kidding.

The ultimate reason I wouldn't want Valentino to be my dad is because I already have a dad I'm pretty fond of. Although he doesn't run a fashion empire, I'd be sad to trade him in.  Happy Father's Day Daddy!